Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
