We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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