i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
