I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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