I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
