I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
and you fell through a lawn chair
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
as a side note pls kill me
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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