Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
