Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
