I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
