Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
