I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
