porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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