i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
