how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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