You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
