I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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