Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
