If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
