If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
vagina is talking i cant
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
