he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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