best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
