how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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