Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
