4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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