The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
