How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
