I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
