Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
