I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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