I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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