I wanna bring you to show and tell
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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