i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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