i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
