Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
