We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
