loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
