So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
