I puked a lego.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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