We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
