love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
