so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
