I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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