Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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