i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
