I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
