Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
