his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
