I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Is it because I queefed?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize
