the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
