Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
