I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
