Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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