No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
