My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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